"ILLUMINATING PATHWAYS" Total Life Coaching BLOG

Your "MP3" Just Took on a Whole New Meaning!

2008-11-18T21:31:00.000-08:00

I am truly enjoying the colors of the leaves as they change! There are so many amazing vibrant red, yellows, oranges, and I've been trying to stay in 'awareness mode' so that I don't miss the view of these colorful trees that line the wide streets. It's simply gorgeous! I grew up in a four-seasons climate and I suspect that is one reason I care to take it all in the way I do....

IN thinking about this time of year, I am reminded that the process for this change is slow...it doesn't happen overnight, which is something that we all can relate to in one way or another. We want to create new habits or behaviors, but we often desire rapid results or an overnight "quick fix." Nine times out of ten that isn't the experience. It's the slow process that makes every bit of the change process worthwhile. If we take it slow, we have a chance to 'take in' the process...and taking it in slowly allows us 'more' time to "Process Practice, and Prevail!" I call this the "MP3 approach to change!" Here's why:

If we move slowly toward change, we are able to "Process" the necessary steps, put ideas into clear perspective, assess the first move and others that follow, and even do a check-in on how the 'steps' actually feel...if we need to, we reassess and the slow pace allows for that smooth transition and change of course. "More Processing" creates 'more' clarity......and sets the stage for "Practice."

If you begin to "Practice," you reap the benefits of consistency and accuracy. Repetition and "Practice" are keys for change. Taking the slow road and really investing quality "practice" time in your 'here and now' allows you to create a foundation for change that is stable, and results that are not fleeting. If you are 'doing' while processing, you are taking action and that equals forward movement.

And, lastly, "More processing" and "Practice" means that you are set up to "Prevail!" There is nothing more powerful than the realization that you are in control and creating space for change! The rewards are yours for the taking if you choose to: stay the course, process what is happening, slow your pace, and remain consistent through practice.

The next time you think about change, take a moment to positively reflect on this message and recall the MP3 Approach to Change: "More Processing + Practice = Prevail!"

Savoring these days with my beloved animal...

2008-07-13T22:55:00.001-07:00

I have been reminded over these last four days of the reasons why I love my dog, Casey. I have also been reminded of what 'unconditional love' really means. Let me explain...

After being away for a short while, my yellow lab seemed none too thrilled by the empty nest our family left behind. It seemed as though she had rebelled and made her point in no uncertain terms. She left us plenty of unintended "gifts" and when we arrived back at our homestead it was clear to us that Casey was genuinely remorseful.

I can honestly say that I knew what had happened by the mere look on her face. We know each other 'that' well...I didn't even have to look around because it was evident that she was feeling 'bad' for the mess (we never 'punish' our animals...so, this was an intuitive response, i guess you could say). I announced the news to my family, "Okay clean up crew, assemble now!" We quickly determined that our only hope was to rent a steam cleaner to completely take care of the issue in one fell swoop!

All the while, we told her, "Oh, sweet Casey, it's not your fault!" and gave her plenty of reassurance, providing unconditional love and regard for her (she was shaking...which, again, seemed odd to us because we are not an abusive family and we live by the same standard when it comes to our animals). It became obvious to us that she prefers to be with us day in and day out now that she is much older.

After 6 hours of hard labor, we managed to collapse into bed that night. The very next morning, another surprise awaited us! It was a bit disappointing, not because she had an 'accident' but because we had exhausted ourselves the night prior! Needless to say, it rolled off and we kept 'similar' running dialog with our Casey..."It's okay, Casey" (followed up with the same hand strokes against her back, offering loving reassurance). You see, we were in a 'deep' slumber and missed the cue to let her outside. She continued to shake.

Another 4 hours of work and a lot of sweat (it's a steamy 100+ degrees in California these days), we were happy to have like-new carpets and fresh air to breathe again! We relaxed and played for a bit that afternoon (after we returned the steam cleaner machine). That night, Casey slept outside. Now let me add here that sleeping outside is a "new trick" for this very old dog, and I can report that she was not thrilled with us or our idea. She scratched at the bedroom door many times throughout the night. Finally, in the wee hours of the morning, she realized it was futile and she drifted off to sleep. And, in my head I heard the same running dialog, "That's okay, though, because..."

The very next day (today), we slipped out for, oh, I'd say about 45 minutes to gather in some supplies and when we arrived home we had more of the same to greet us. Now, because of the early morning heat, we opted to let her in and she was so tired that she immediately collapsed onto her dog bed and started to snore. We thought it was a safe bet to leave her in the house for a brief time....she was exhausted. She was snoring for goodness sake! When we returned from the store, our sweet Casey left us another 'gift.' Back to the store, another steam cleaner rental, another 3 hours cleaning (the mess wasn't as overwhelming this time). "That's okay, though, because...."

After the long few days, I realize the gravity of the situation and that there is much more here than meets the eye. This is not merely my animal responding to our brief absence. This is truly my dog who is starting to slowly decline...And that is a tough pill for me to swallow. I have had a 'true friendship' with her since she was one year old (she's now 15), and we have spent many days and nights together huddled on the floor nursing each other back to health. She stayed with me when I had my breast cancer scare (she was amazingly intuitive during that time) and I stayed with her when she had a dislocated tail bone and could barely move without excruciating pain. She has always been the dog that neighbors would easily 'welcome home' when she would wander off from our home...we always knew where to find her and the neighbors always knew what special treats to buy for her when she came to visit. In fact, most neighbors over the years have said to us, "I would get a dog in a minute if I knew it would be like Casey!" It was always comforting to know that she brought others as much joy as she brought to our family! She has flown over these United States twice now (with my wonderful mother!) and I couldn't be more proud of her 'courage' to be reunited with us! And, she has had the pleasure of living several months of her life at 'the lake' with my mother and sisters (and their yellow labs, both now deceased), and my mother's dog, Mikayla. Casey was in her glory during those days and I know during that period of time that Casey had some of her 'finest hours' at the lake.

As Casey begins to decline, my mission is to embrace all her 'gifts'...regardless of what 'form' they are offered to me. She is my valued friend and companion, and there is nothing that I won't accept from her...especially now. It's a fact: as we've grown, so has she.

I suppose this entry is a tribute to my dog. I originally intended to make a connection with 'unconditional love' but that pathway did not materialize. Instead, I stayed the course and allowed many video clips of her wonderful life flash before my very eyes. I am happy to "be" in this moment and capture this feeling of awe I have for my wonderful Casey! If you have an animal, I hope you are blessed to "be" with your own companion and relish in your moment now (or sometime soon).

Pardon me...This can't wait any longer....I have a friend that I want to sit with for awhile...

Take care and "Be" well~
Lucy

By the way, did you know:

...that there are therapists that incorporate their own "trained and certified" dogs into the therapeutic process? Clients are apt to relax and relate well to the therapist when an approachable animal is in the room. The animals help to relieve the client's stress and client's then feel more open to connecting with the therapeutic process and the counselor. I'm sure there are life coaches that incorporate animals into their work, although I am not aware (nor have I scoped out) any of them. You can find out more information about 'dog assisted therapy' by visiting http://www.deltasociety.org

Time, Clocks and Irrational Thoughts

2008-02-29T21:30:00.001-08:00

Have you ever had one of those days when you felt as if you couldn't stop your mind? Well, that's what happened to me today!

As soon as I opened my eyes, I began the morning ritual (pondering my thoughts of gratitude) only to have the process derailed by the unexpected squeal of my alarm! Mentally I seemed to climb aboard the fast track from that moment forward as I began thinking about everything I needed to get done, didn't get done, wanted to get done, and hoped to actually finish by day's end (not even aware of my dialogue regarding irrational time constraints and expectations). My mind began spinning its wheels even though my body was moving at a snail's pace because of exhaustion from a restless night's sleep (an obvious incongruence).

The greatest portion of my day revolved around a thought-process that begged for my attention, yet left me feeling wired and a tad bit frustrated. I became acutely aware that I was trying to 'force' my creative thought process, a process that flows much better when it's effortless on my part. I placed time constraints on the project, and I was working against the clock (the very same clock that was a significant factor in how I began this day). No matter how I look at it, though, I see now that time constraints coupled with feelings of frenzied frustration were my barriers for progress!

Hours into my day, I finally realized that I was in need of a healthy "time out," not to mention added help in putting my puzzle pieces together!

So, I opted to walk away from my work and sat quietly in my chair with my eyes closed (I felt confident that I wouldn't fall asleep)...and detached myself---yes, I "detached myself"---from the work for a brief amount of time. I realized that I actually needed to take control and 'force' the relaxation and detachment process. I had nothing to lose and I needed clarity AND I needed to create space in my head for new thoughts. I assessed my physical state after those few minutes and realized that I was much more relaxed and that I had actually released the tightened muscles in my neck. I had been so consumed by the work that I didn't realize how contracted and "clenched" my shoulder and back muscles had become until I started the "weightlessness scan" of my body. I felt peaceful for the first time since those first few minutes of the morning that I spent absorbed in my "attitude of gratitude." I felt renewed...

...the time had come to 'ask for help!'

I decided that I needed a flow of energy to help bring this project to fruition and that flow, I believed,would benefit from a double dose of energy. So, I accomplished that by calling on the help of my mother who graciously listened to my challenge and dove right in to help me. We brainstormed and bantered back and forth until, after four or five phone calls and searching for a 'needle in a haystack' we came up with the solution that had us both feeling empowered and proud! I needed to reach out to ask for her help and utilize the powerful flow of energy and creativity that we both 'brought to the table,' so to speak! I told my mother that I felt as if I could actually sleep, almost craving a 'long winter's nap.' I did close my eyes, but I didn't fall asleep....ironically, I became peaceful and genuinely slipped back into an 'attitude of gratitude,' much like I did when I first fell out of sleep that morning.

I truly believe that there is no coincidence in how this day unfolded---beginning with the squeal of my bedside alarm, right down to the realization that the concept of 'time' has flowed beautifully throughout this email and I had no idea until I re-read it just now. I re-read and felt compelled to highlight all the references to time, and then realized that the clock and the time constraints that I spoke of were in no way intended to have a relationship to one another when I started this email. The clock and the concept of the "fast track" didn't seem to relate to one another--until now!! (Ah, the power of written words! :)

So, long story short, perhaps you have felt those same instances--your mind is rushing well ahead of your body and you are in need of a 'time-out' to gain clarity. I wonder how much frustration and time we might actually spare ourselves if we find a way to 'jump off the fast-track' and detach ourselves if even for a brief couple of moments.

In closing, I noticed that I like the phrase: "time OUT"...Perhaps I might think twice about any irrational expectations of my "time IN" a project next time! Perhaps you might, too! :)

Take good care~
Lucy :)

Let the Music Move You Today

2008-02-29T00:05:00.000-08:00

I had an opportunity to read in depth about music therapy today. There were ten or so full pages of fine print that delivered a wealth of information, and it gave rise to memories of how I used music as a form of therapy during childhood and beyond. In fact, I find music to be an incredibly soothing form of meditation and connection.

This particular book, "Managing Stress," explained music therapy as a means for achieving an altered state of physical being that essentially affects the mood through a progression of varying tones, notes, and instrumentation. I personally think that this is a rather long-winded way saying that music touches us at the core of our being...which makes sense when we think of music as essentially 'energy' and we all know that we, ourselves, are a human field of energy, so it makes sense that we would 'feel' a physical response on some level.

I find this interesting: Were you aware that musical notes and auditory sound is predominantly processed in the right side of the brain? The left side is said to snag the lyrics if there is an analysis of instrumentation that is initiated beforehand. The author suggests that this could justify the notion that instrumental music is more relaxing than music with lyrics. I imagine that I will recall this very concept the next time (or twenty) I listen to a song with or without lyrics! :))

As a young child, I became consumed by my music. I believe it appealed to my creative side because I vividly recall spending hours listening to an LP while attempting to draw an exact replica of the corresponding album cover. But, I also agree that music provided comfort and relaxation during adolescence (a challenging time, as we might all agree). Perhaps it helped my hormones during those years! The author of the book indicates that there is some evidence that music decreases levels of cortisol, and I am aware that cortisol is a stress hormone utilized by the body. As I have learned, reducing cortisol levels in children is, well, let's just say that it is a "very good thing" without going into the mechanics of it. Additionally, music is shown to reduce the tension of the muscles in the body and is said to be helpful during childbirth (it helps to reduce the muscular tension most notably if the mother has repeatedly heard the music piece prior to delivery of the child). There is also mention of the repetitive nature of lyrics that produces a meditative state. How wonderful that music can have such a positive and powerful impact on our state of mind/being.

I think the reason I felt compelled to write about music is because I had this trip down memory lane today and those good vibes came rushing back to me just by the mere thought of music. I have come to believe that I am actually praying at times when I listen to some of my alternative christian rock cd's or the different iTunes or mp3's I've collected over time. Prayer comes in all forms, and I consider music as just one of the wonderful vehicles for connecting with my Higher Power...

and...isn't it a wonderful concept that music is timeless? We've all heard songs from the past that we can actually sing verbatim (or close enough!), and I've heard many new renditions of songs from my youth that my children now sing and listen to without bias toward the original release of the song. I actually heard a new rendition of "Boys of Summer" tonight that was one of my daughter's "favorite" songs... I just smiled! :)

In closing, I thought I would share an abbreviated version of a story that is printed in the book. It is based on the life experience of singer/songwriter, Naomi Judd:

Naomi was diagnosed with a potentially fatal case of hepatitis C during the early 1990's. She chose to channel her music into her journey through recovery. She chose to stay closely connected with her music, as well as the fan-base and supporters by returning to her touring schedule despite the illness. Naomi was acutely aware of the powerful energy of the music, as well as the applause from the fans, and she literally 'asked' the vibrations to stimulate the immune system's fight against the virus, sending it into remission. At the time of print, Naomi, after ten years, had tested negative for the virus three years in a row. I believe it is fair to say that Naomi was very invested in the mind/body/spirit connection, and music was an integral part of her recovery.

We may not have the cheering crowds, but one thing we do have is the possibility for the same physical and emotional response to music that Naomi had...remembering that emotions are universal. If our happiness is compromised in the moment, perhaps music is a helpful tool for restoring feelings of positivity and/or happiness that had been lost in the moment. If we feel disconnected, perhaps music can help to reconnect us by way of mere energy and healthy vibrations. Perhaps, in this fast-paced life we lead, we might opt to slow down both sides of our brain and create some space and allow those sounds of music to fill us (while relaxing tense muscles in our body).

As I wind this up, I ponder my wish for you today...

...my wish is that you find yourself invested "in the moment" when listening to music today---feel free to pray, to laugh at yourself, to relax, heal or just 'be' for awhile. Music is a gift if we choose to make it so...

Take good care~

Lucy :)

Seaward, Brian Luke. Managing Stress: principles and strategies for health and wellbeing. Jones & Bartlett Publishers, 2002.

Is Gray Your Color?

2008-02-19T13:54:00.001-08:00

Hello~

I apologize for the hiatus, although it was much needed and helpful for me to devote time to another project. I am learning much about the idea of time management and expectations.

I believe that the greatest awareness I now have is that I am becoming more comfortable with my "gray area." Those of you who know me well will recall that I have often talked about this 'area' because it is a way for me to limit the concept of 'extremes.' In the midst of your day, I imagine that you also have moments that would benefit from the mindset of the "gray area."

The "gray area" is the space that I create (by choice:) to allow myself leverage for my actions and reactions. Let me give you an example:

Today I had six items on my agenda. Two of those items were slated for the morning, and the other four were scheduled for this afternoon. Unavoidable circumstances were contributing factors that did not allow me to finalize the first two. The ripple effect has caused a rather big glitch in my plans, and I admit that I am working on my ability to manage my schedule and my time more efficiently these days.
This circumstance provided plenty of opportunity for me to react anxiously and with a lot of frustration, but I thought twice about that 'in the moment' and consciously opted to stay 'calm.' I knew that I would have to juggle the schedule to make it work to my advantage, which gave me the opportunity to work with the circumstance versus against it by reacting with a great deal of emotional energy.

As a whole, I know that the demands that I feel weighing on me are placed there only by myself. I create this level of expectation, and I create the extremes and my "all or nothing" attitude. In this example, I was unable to complete the task, but I created a healthier internal dialogue to help me find my "gray area!" Here is an example:

"I worked as hard as I could to get this done, and my work puts me well ahead of where I was a day or even hours ago! That is a check in the plus column!" or "I have plenty of time to accomplish this and although I didn't meet my deadline I have an opportunity to add more creativity to the thought process," or "I finished more than halfway, which tells me that I made a concerted effort to accomplish the task and meet my deadline. I can't deny that I learn more about time management from the mistakes I make--period!"

The "gray area" that I found brought feelings of comfort, allowing me to relax and actually be proud of myself as opposed to loathing my inability to get the job done. Regardless of the circumstances that seemed to derail plans and good intentions, I still worked hard on the project itself! The time factor really could have been the least important factor here...the body of work and my effort is what counts. This a clear message I took away from this experience today.

So, if you find that you are unable to forgive yourself or you feel just plain annoyed at circumstances (out of your control or not), remember to activate healthier internal dialogue that will help you to find your magical "gray area!" It's a safe haven and a welcome place for those of us that hold ourselves up against those high expectations!

It's rather overcast here in Fresno today...a rather "gray" day :)))
Perhaps that is no coincidence!

Have a wonderful "gray" day!
Take good care~
Lucy :)

Abundantly Grateful...

2008-02-15T08:37:00.000-08:00

I have been applying the "attitude of gratitude" to my daily routine, which is essentially an attitude behavior that has added so much value to my life. I thought today was a great day to share!

In watching the popular DVD, "The Secret," I was captivated by the notion of the "gratitude rock." The concept of this rock is that the person who holds this rock will keep it with them in their pocket morning, noon and night. Upon merely touching the rock, one is to begin thinking of things that he/she is grateful for (whatever comes to mind in the moment). The rock continues to be touched intermittently throughout the day (hands are in pockets, for example) and the flow of gratitude continues in those moments. At day's end, when the pockets are emptied, the rock becomes another reminder to ponder thoughts of gratitude.

I admit that I have not found the "perfect gratitude rock" and I truthfully have not tried to locate one, but I didn't let myself miss a beat of applying this meaningful exercise to my list of preferred behaviors. I imagine that if I had a special gratitude rock in my possession it would bring even more abundant feelings and thoughts of gratitude, but I think it is important to remember that the message of gratitude was not lost in translation.

I guess the message for this day is how transforming this "attitude of gratitude" can be if applied as consistently as possible. I started the gratitude exercise by waking up each morning (an exercise mentioned in the DVD, "The Secret") and immediately starting my internal 'gratitude dialogue.' I simply talk to myself about the things I feel grateful for "in that moment." It might be the warmth of the covers, or the sun peaking through the window, or the people that I met with the day before, family , etc... Regardless of the length of my list or how long the moment lasts, I always come up with thoughts that generate a wonderful feeling of gratitude. I also admit that I find it to be the easiest time of my day to quietly and peacefully ponder feelings of gratitude. I enjoy the fact that it helps me to be 'still' before I jump into the day's agenda. What I have found is that it truly does change my mindset as I begin my day, and most of the time this mindset, this feeling, carries through until the day's end. It has become a morning ritual now as a result of continued practice, and I realize that this simple thought process awakens my 'heart' and my desire to share joy with others throughout the day.

Isn't it amazing how our thoughts can transform our willingness to be 'present' for the day?

Of the many, many, MANY things that I am grateful for, this blog is one of them, along with the many subscribers that return daily for inspiration. Thank you for taking time out of your day to hear my message.

If you have thoughts of gratitude right now, sit back, relax, close your eyes and receive the peaceful feeling that overcomes your body and your mind. It's such a powerful exercise, and a powerful opportunity to shift your thinking....oh, and yes, it is a powerful reminder that we really are blessed in so many wonderful ways.

Peace to you today and always...in all ways... :)))

Take good care~
Lucy

No Rental Space Available

2008-02-13T09:09:00.000-08:00

In the book, "Don't Let Others Rent Space In Your Head," Gary Coxe offers some helpful and thought-filled information. I simply want to share it today...

It's natural to be controlled by your emotions
Emotions are so powerful that they can, and frequently do, drive our behavior to reach results that are consistent with our beliefs [positive or negative]
With proper coaching and insights, most people can use their intellect to master their emotions and turn them into guided tools that help [them] achieve [their] goals.
Initially, you won't be able to control your big, overwhelming emotions, but you can start by controlling the little ones.
Interrupt your reactions as often as you can identify them.
Practice interrupting emotional responses to create a pattern of action and decide to follow through only on feelings that are in harmony with your goals.
Learn to identify feelings that make you take action, and evoke them to move you toward desired outcomes.

Short and sweet today! Sometimes just basic ideas and 'food for thought' are what we need to become inspired for the day! Oh, and by the way, "Thanks so much, Mom!" :)))

Take good care~
I will see you tomorrow!
Lucy :)

Gary Coxe (2004). Don't Let Others Rent Space In Your Head. John Wiley & Sons, Inc., New Jersey, pp. 211-212.

What Exactly Is "Organized Chaos?"

2008-02-12T07:45:00.000-08:00

"Organized chaos" is a term that I am striving to eliminate from my vocabulary! :)

Oftentimes, when my surroundings seem to be 'out of order' and overwhelming I utter these words to help cushion the emotional distress that I feel. For whatever reason, today it is very apparent to me that I am actually enabling procrastinating behavior! The so-called "organized chaos" that I experience is the residual of my behavior to delay being productive, and I am convinced that I am trying to find a solution to the problem without actually 'doing' anything about the problem. I simply organize the clutter so that it feels like things are 'put back together' until I am reminded that I didn't 'act' on resolving the chaos...only my attempts to organize it!" The chaos is still there and it didn't magically disappear!

I am left to ask myself why I would continue to repeat a process that puts me further behind and overwhelmed versus further ahead and unburdened? Procrastinating behavior actually causes me to expend more energy. Here is the way I see it:

There is something I need to do or complete and begin the process of considering ways or words that will justify, in my mind, 'putting it off.'

I then make the decision not to take immediate action, and find a 'quick fix' in my decision to procrastinate. However, I slowly and methodically start my negative internal dialogue ("I should do that, but I'm really tired...and I'm actually not good at doing that anyway so I will spare myself the agony of defeat!" or, "I wish I wasn't always so pressed for time and energy! Time management isn't my strong suit!" etc...).

I start to sit with the decision not to act and gradually become more frustrated because I am more acutely aware of my unwanted behavior of putting these things off for a later time.

I start to organize the chaos to 'fix' the frustration in the short-term, and engage is deceptive dialogue (I might start saying to myself (or others), "Oh, that's just my world of "organized chaos" and, "I work better when I have "organized chaos!"). I enable the unwanted behavior, and my energy becomes invested working against my ability to be productive. I actually do physical work that is counterproductive! I think this is the part that makes the least sense to me! I actually expend energy to keep myself shackled to the "disorganized chaos?" Wouldn't that investment of time and energy reduce or even totally eradicate my frustration, stress, and the overwhelming feelings about the chaos if I just took care of business right then and there? It is amazing to me that I actually apply effort to fueling my frustration, stress, and overwhelming feelings, which keeps them actively engaged in overdrive!

Digging further, perhaps the act of procrastinating is the result of my fear or inhibited self-esteem. As I look back over my responses earlier in this posting, that would make the most sense regarding my behavior. Let's take the first one and look at at...."Save myself the agony of defeat?" That's a powerful statement about my faith in myself to actually do the work or complete the task!! Wow! Do I really fear that notion of defeat? Do I fear the act of failing? If I feel that I have failed, will that prompt me to label myself as a "failure?" Tough questions!

I believe that I will gain a wealth of knowledge from this mental exercise! Part of my awakening includes the realization that I do allow myself to use mere words as a means for 'sluffing off' responsibility and dumping it right into my bucket labeled "organized chaos!" I have this mental picture of myself doing just that: figuratively dumping responsibility, just like dumping the trash and then standing tall, brushing off my hands and saying, "Done!" and then walking away. Hmmm...an interesting video-clip!

Once again, perhaps it's all about choice and awareness. I finally am choosing to rid myself of unwanted anxiety, frustration, distress and physical symptoms that are firmly attached to the process. I am at a place of conviction...I am ready to change this behavior.

This posting has been a journey for me today. I have opened up a bit of myself in order to help anyone else that might be challenged by the unwanted behavior of procrastinating. If anything, it plants a seed of curiosity for those of us that engage in the 'art of procrastinating.'

It's time to look for a new pathway! It's time to apply energy to foward steps instead of standing with my bucket of excuses at the fork in the road! My bucket stays..and I go!

(oh, and by the way, I recall Oprah's challenge question mentioned in an earlier posting! My intention in this journey is to check-in with my fears [and learning to face them] along the way).
Take good care~
Lucy

"Walk away from the bucket, Lucy! Walk away from the bucket!" :)))

We All Really Are Explorers, Aren't We? :)

2008-02-11T08:57:00.000-08:00

This has been a very insightful and interesting morning! It began with the thought-process of what to write in our blog today. I thought a lot about the concept of the 'stress cycle' and the physical effects. That stream of conscious sparked my amazing 'tour' of conceptual thinking. As a writer, I find moments like these to be 'magical!' Please indulge me as I share a bit of this journey:

I began by investigating in more detail the 'stress cycle.' From that one 'click' on the Internet, I ran across the concept of an 'explorer,' and, as I thought about Pathways Total Life Coaching, that immediate visual image seemed to 'fit' and prompted me to keep the momentum going.

From 'explorer,' I ran into the word 'maze'....a 'tour' puzzle in which a person has the ability to 'choose' the pathway and direction. There it is...the word 'pathway'....whenever I read the words path or pathway, I know I am 'on to something' that might be inspiring for myself, as well as readers of this blog and the book I am in the process of writing. Not to mention the word 'explorer'...we are all essentially explorers in this life, aren't we?

The next step in this learning process led me to the word 'labyrinth,' which is often paired with the word maze. I learned that labyrinths are often used by modern mystics to achieve a state of meditation/contemplation. "Very interesting," I thought to myself. Meditation is a concept that many clients have an interest in learning more about.

That investigation led me to the word 'quiescence, which is a quieting of the mind and body. More connectedness...

From there, I stumble upon the word 'pilgrimage' which drew me in and I discovered that it means our view of life as a journey. I use the words "life's journey" so often, and pilgrimage is also indicative of pathways...Another helpful "connection" that led to further exploration....

From pilgrimage, I stumbled upon the word 'quest' which is defined by Wikipedia as a "journey toward a goal." Journey...goal....pathways.... I started to see a pattern here, and began thinking "This is really leading me somewhere"...

From 'quest,' I found myself exploring the word 'monomyth,' which is also defined as the "hero's journey," which led me to:

Joseph Cambell, author of "The Hero with a Thousand Faces" (1949). In his book, Campbell offers the hero's journey as:

1. A call to adventure: the acceptance or decline of the journey
2. A road of trials
3. Achieving the goal or "boon" ("boon" means something that we find as beneficial or helpful)
4. A return to the ordinary world
5. Applied learning

This is where the journey ended, at least for the moment, because the five bullet points made sense to me in the context of life coaching!

Clients must be willing to accept the journey of life coaching and setting goals! The pathways defined really are 'trials' ...we are challenged as we forge ahead with the intention of achieving goals. The trials lead to knowledge, and I always say, "Knowledge is power!" Knowledge is the key to staying motivated and the key to 'applied learning' in daily living.

As I contemplate this experience and write it out, I realize that I have been through my own maze or labyrinth this morning. My goal was to uncover information about stress. I found that information, but I came away from the process learning so much more! This has prompted a desire for more exploration...I really want to see what additional knowledge I will stumble upon next time :) The motivation is in me! I choose to keep tapping into it!

I admit that I love the dictionary...Those who know me very well will attest to that fact :) I suspect that I felt the need to share because I am feeling empowered and excited because the information and 'knowledge' I have uncovered contributes so well to my goal of writing a book. These must be pathways toward the goal I have set for myself!!

So, I'm off to the airport now...I just had to stop in to say 'hello' to my fellow 'explorers,' and wish all of you well as you uncover knowledge and move further into your day!

Thanks for reading...
Take good care~

Lucy :)

Our Greatest Designs Are Ourselves

2008-02-10T07:36:00.000-08:00

I am away on a business trip, which is cause for the delay in posting. I am so appreciative of the time I have to write my thoughts here, and this blog, this mental exercise that I adore, is such an important part of my days. I admit that I even feel a bit off when sidelined or searching for clarity within my written words. Let me just say that it feels GREAT to be here, right here and right now!!

So, I am repeatedly asked, "What is a life coach?" And, I find myself still polishing my response!

I had a lovely conversation last night with two amazing women that I admire (one I just met, and the other is my dear friend). It was so gratifying to talk with them and share their perspective on life. That sharing ultimately led to our conversation about the concept of my work, which, as we all know, is still considered a progressive field of work.

The question, "What is a life coach?" arose again, and, as always, I was happy to share my definition of my life's work! I began by trying to explain that life coaching is a 'form' of counseling with a fundamental difference, I believe. While reading yesterday I came across a wonderful analogy to help me answer that question.

The author of my book described traditional psychotherapy as an "archeological dig"...The words alone generate such a mind's eye vision of the process, don't they? I believe this is true in the sense that the 'therapeutic dig' becomes a necessary process for uncovering the past 'narratives' (or life stories) that contribute to the client's present circumstance(s). It might be fair to assume that we all visualize an archeological dig as slow and methodic. I think that can be true of counseling, as well. The investment of time and energy seems to be placed in putting the pieces of the past together to make sense of the puzzle that lies before us now.

At that moment, I thought, "That's it! Those two words, "archaeological dig," offer a wonderful visual that might be helpful in my attempts to explain life coaching."

But, I had to take it further, so I asked myself....

"How do I view life coaching if I don't view it as a complete archeological dig?"

The answer seems simple to me. I envision clients and myself as "sculptors." We create, we mold, we design, construct, build, frame, shape....the list is endless! We begin our work with the distorted ball of clay (or any other means) that lies before us, and our job is not to figure out how that clay came into form. Our job is to focus on "What will become of this ball of clay...What plans do I have in mind for this ball of clay?" Our clay, distorted or not, is our current circumstance. The beauty of life coaching is that, as sculptors of our lives, we are able to focus on "What am I becoming," versus, "What have I become?"

This is what makes sense! "This it it!" Although I believe we utilize the past as a tool for uncovering the past behaviors and important details that define our circumstance(s) now, I admit that it is just that and only that! It is not our job to become fixated on those past behaviors or narratives. Our job is to "initiate the process of change" and define/design pathways that lead to achieving your goals. This is about your desire and willingness to move FORWARD...not in any other direction :)))

I am in awe of the possibilities that exist for clients as a result of our work together and the life coaching profession. The notion of being a 'sculptor' is quite humbling for me. I would say that my professional work to this very day consists of collaborative designs...and I consider those designs to be masterpieces! :)))

Whatever circumstance lies before you at this very moment, perhaps our chat here today will inspire you to become the 'sculptor' as opposed to the 'archaeologist'.....

(both fine and noble professions, by the way :)))
Take good care~

Lucy :)

Self-care: It Really Does Matter

2008-02-08T00:43:00.000-08:00

I apologize for my absence yesterday...

I admit that I attempted a morning posting, but I felt lost in my own words. I've been working on a project and I had really become consumed by it these last few days. Perhaps I was so preoccupied with the project that my thoughts, which usually flow effortlessly, were simply 'stuck.'

I decided that self-care was the most important thing for me today. I changed course and rearranged my goals to accommodate my own needs. My new goal was to work on a totally different project, which was a nice diversion for me. It felt more relaxed by mid-morning, and I realized that I was truly feeling self-empowered by my choice (both emotionally and physically). I sat with the 'stuck' feeling for a bit, but then I shifted my focus toward the new goals for my day. I believe that changing course was my way of working with that 'stuck' feeling versus working against it, which essentially would have meant that I stayed at the computer and forced the words out of me). It helped me to create balance (I was really immersed in that project), and I enjoy the work it takes to maintain balance in all aspects of my life. It's a healthy goal!

Once again, I am reminded that I have a choice. Today I chose self-care, and it worked for me. Tomorrow is a new day...with new perspectives and challenges...oh my, or should I say, "Today is a new day!" (I just realized the time!)

Until tomorrow...
Take good care..."good self-care"... :)
~Lucy

"Put Me In, Coach!"

2008-02-06T08:34:00.000-08:00

Last evening, I recalled an analogy that I have used with clients that is quite relevant to my professional title, life coach (or "Connectedness Life Coach" as I like to call myself). I have told this story to clients to encourage an awareness about personal choice and positive self-dialogue:

A softball player was positioned in the outfield. The player was in the same position for every game, but every game brought more fear that the ball would come to him/her. Thoughts of, "I hope the ball doesn't come to me" and "What if I don't catch it, they'll all be so mad at me!" went through this player's mind constantly during the game. It happened, and the player became paralyzed by fear as the ball soared into the outfield. The player did not catch the ball.

The team coach became livid and he rushed to the outfield. He yelled and screamed, "You are worthless! You should have caught that ball when it came to you! You lost the game for us! You let everyone on the team down today and you probably could care less! Why do you even play the sport when you won't even try to catch a ball? GO HOME! We're done here!".....

Devastated by the coach's words, the player went home feeling worthless. Eating dinner was not an option as the player had no appetite felt no desire to talk to anyone. The bed, which felt like a safe landing, was where the player stayed and cried all evening, vowing never to play softball again. Even though the player loved the sport, and loved being a member of a team of great athletes and friends, going back to that field, that game, those players, that coach, that fear, that humiliation was not an option anymore.

How do you feel physically when you read that story? Is your heart beating a bit faster? Palms a bit sweaty? What expression is on your face right now? Does your body feel tense at all? Take a moment to actually take in the natural physical change that overcomes....

Stop to ponder what you are thinking as you read this. Did you say to yourself, "What a sad outcome for that player--not wanting to play anymore?" or "How could the coach be so cruel and say such mean things?" Once again, my body reacts to these questions as I write them. I get a flutter in my stomach and I feel like I can actually connect with the player's agony.

IF...
the coach had approached the player and said, "You know what? It's okay. You have nothing to be ashamed of or feel sad about today. We played as a team and you are part of the team and there are lots of games left to be played. Maybe we can find another position that would feel more comfortable. Can we work on that at the next practice?"

Stop to ponder how you feel physically after reading those comments to the player...

If we apply this same story to our own lives and recognize that we are essentially our own "player" AND our own "coach" and, focusing on the coach now, realize that we have a choice to become a "helpful coach" or a "harmful coach." We abhor the comments made to this player, and yet, I wonder if we have all had moments of self-loathing and negative dialogue similar to this (different context) that runs rampant through our minds! We wouldn't want this player to suffer and lose the love for the game, yet we allow ourselves to suffer from similar words and, oftentimes, lose our love for our game?

It seems our inner dialogue determines which coach shows up for our games.Perhaps our next game, our next circumstance, our next endeavor will give us an opportunity to choose which coach shows up to meet us there...

...and I just had a thought...I literally chose to be one of the "helpful" coaches by profession! Yet, I, like everyone else, have a choice about which personal coach shows up for my day.

I choose to fire the harmful coach, bring on the helpful coach, and get back in my game of life!

Until tomorrow~
Lucy :)

Oprah's Challenge

2008-02-05T13:31:00.000-08:00

My dear friend presented me with an opportunity in 2001 to visit San Francisco, CA with her and attend Oprah Winfrey's "Live Your Best Life" Tour. Cheryl Richardson, a well-known and respected author and life coach, toured with Oprah and together they were quite a powerful team! I was so thrilled that she was 'in tune' with who I am as a person and believed that this was "right up my alley" and that I would enjoy the Workshop! Interestingly enough, I had not ever heard of life coaching at that time, and Cheryl Richardson happens to be a pioneer in the field! As I write this, I realize that my dear friend is one of my "messengers"...those people that I meet in life whom, I believe, have 'message' to deliver (knowingly or not) that in some way manifests itself in my life :))) Thank you for being one of my 'messengers' (you know who you are! :)

I digress... :)

Okay, so back to Oprah. She was, as we all imagine her to be, an amazing woman with a powerful message and 'presence.' She was very willing to open up about her life story, which at the time I knew very little about. She was compelling, inspiring, and revealing about herself, her life, and her work. This truly was an 'experience' for both of us and we still talk about it to this very day!

I recall a question consisting of four words that Oprah revealed during her 'talk' (a solo performance, for lack of a better word, for the first half of the workshop that lasted for hours :) Her four words, that continue to resonate in my life, were, "Always ask yourself, "What is your intention?""

Oprah prefaced this with a discussion about her own life circumstance, which involved her inability to say "no." This really does seem to be a syndrome, like a universal 'Inability Syndrome' or something of the like :) In earlier years, I truly did find myself struggling with this same issue, and I believe it was most prevalent when my children were young. There were so many demands on my time and efforts that revolved around my children, and I allowed myself to feel "selfish" if I wasn't all things to all people at the time. The shift for me began when I was confronted with the very question that Oprah posed to the hundreds of people in the audience. It was an inspiring moment for me, and to this day I use this 'question' as a way to filter my 'absolutist' thoughts--those thoughts that cry out to me, "You MUST do it" and "I SHOULD do this because..." or "I HAVE TO DO THIS or else they might think..." Now, I spend a moment of my time asking myself, "What is my intention?" By the way, if I don't have a moment to decide, I ask for one and an opportunity to get back to the person with an answer.

For me, this challenge process begins with these very simple questions:

"Who am I doing this for?."

Am I doing this for myself because I am truly invested in the process of doing it, or am I doing this for everyone else but myself?

"What is my body trying to tell me right now about this decision?"

Am I feeling overwhelmed already, even before I decide? Do I feel the rush of anxiety, the "brick" in my stomach, the stress in my shoulders and back, the tension in my head as I think about it?" Is saying "yes" or "no" an act that is congruent with my feelings and what my body might be trying to tell me?

"Is it beneficial for me if I am not invested in the process?"

Will I have a need to muster up the energy, the courage, and the willingness to enjoy the process as I become invested in it, or does my current level of energy, courage and willingness already fit with my intentions?

"Do I have the time to do this? Am I stretched really thin on time management right now?"

If I get into a circumstance that adds additional anxiety, is there a possibility that my anxiety will have a 'ripple effect' in other areas of my life (perhaps I might be so anxious and stressed that I take things out on my children, and then I might feel ______").

"What would happen if I say "no" to others regarding this circumstance?"

As Oprah discussed, those who have asked will deal with it in a way they choose, not I, and most likely come back to us with other opportunities to say "yes," in which case the challenge process begins again.

This is just a snippet of thoughts running through my mind when I ponder my "intentions." It's not always easy to say "no" and I appreciate that, as well. I find that if I am struggling with that very circumstance, saying "yes" with trepidation, I resign myself to that very act and begin the process of 'creating balance.' If I say yes these days, I at least know in my heart that I have 'checked-in' with my intentions--a self-empowering experience in and of itself!

Have you any "intentions" you would like to ponder today? If so, I hope that this post in our blog has introduced you to an empowering challenge question---compliments of Oprah Winfrey! :)))

Until tomorrow~

Lucy :)

Connectedness: Recognizing Your "Codes"

2008-02-04T09:02:00.000-08:00

Connectedness...I ponder the word quite often because, as you know, it defines much of my work and my philosophy of life coaching. Today, I realized how it impacts me in daily living in a way that never stood out to me...until now.

After I finish writing emails to my sisters, I usually end with a particular 'nickname' from our past that only we, and a select few in the family, have an understanding as to what it means. It's a powerful nickname that imparts a deep connectedness between us every single time it is used. To my mother, I do the same, with a very special nickname that only she and I use between us. It is a powerful touch that stretches across these many miles (from West to East coast and vice-versa), and, for me, a touch that is very welcomed each time I receive it. My best friend will always see me sign-off my emails or text messages as "luc," which is the only name that she has called me in the twenty-seven years we have been best friends. And, of course, I can't forget that, when signing off emails to anyone these days, it seems that I am fixated on sending the message, "Take good care," because it truly fits with my intention for everyone until we meet again...

This is my way of maintaining "connectedness" with others, I thought! "These simple gestures that have become a mainstay in my communication are very much a part of my desire to maintain a level of connectedness in my life!" I know that I purposefully add these salutations to impart feelings within the receiver that whisper, "I am here." I realize that I use these purposefully, but I also think it can become part of the auto-pilot mode that sometimes takes control of my steering wheel. Write it fast, click send, and don't necessarily give it another thought 'in the moment.' My goal is to change that practice and stay focused on my intention when I use my "codes."

So, yes, now that I have had this 'revelation' of sorts, this understanding of my wanting to be connected to others through simple "codes," I will rely less on my auto pilot friend, and more on my joy and purpose when writing these "codes" in each moment. That is my way of allowing myself to also feel the joy that is intended for the recipient, and that makes sense to me since I believe that it is important to be both a giver and a recipient in this journey of our lives. How wonderful that such simple words, little nicknames, little "codes" can have such a meaningful impact for self and others.

Perhaps you can take some time today as you close up an email to a friend or family member, and look for the "codes" that you use, or have used for years, and perhaps you didn't even realize it or think about it 'in the moment.' Perhaps you might consider your "codes" as your messages of "connectedness"...and the beauty of this is that they can be as powerful for YOU as they are to the people that are intended to receive them!

This is what I call a "simple pleasure" in life! These simple gestures as I referred to them earlier in this post are now referred to as : "Simple Pleasure #1- Connectedness "Codes" :)

Just think of the many "Simple Pleasures" we can create here in our blogspot! Just add a comment if you have a "Simple Pleasure" or "Connectedness Code" that you would like to share!

Until tomorrow, have a "Simple Pleasure-filled day!"
Lucy

Living "Full Circle"

2008-02-03T10:48:00.001-08:00

One of my favorite and most powerful memories as a family occurred in the year 2000 when we made our first hiking trip to Yosemite, California. We had just moved to Fresno in August and planned to spend Memorial Day doing something fun and different! We had always spent that particular holiday at 'the lake' with my extended family, so I knew it would be a difficult year knowing that my very special mother and aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, dogs, and friends would be congregating for a weekend of fun and, oftentimes, uncontrollable laughter!

We decided to visit Yosemite National Park, and more specifically, Vernal Fall. We set out on the journey quite early in the morning, and hiked up the mountain for about an hour and fifteen minutes, backpacks in tow, sweatshirts wrapped around our necks and waists (we were prepared for cold temperatures, but the weather was quite fabulous and warm!). We took time to enjoy the landscape while the sun peaked through the trees along the pathway, and we were among hundreds of people with the mission of arriving safely on the top of Vernal Fall.

When we arrived halfway up the mountain, we took a break at a small area and began to notice the physical impact of the many thousands of steps we had taken to that point in our hike. Todd and I were feeling invigorated yet I could not deny that my injured back had ever-so-slightly begun to wear the burden of the heavy backpacks and my footsteps. We wondered about my ability to make it without additional stress to my back, as well as the kids' stamina; might they become exhausted after an additional hour or so of walking followed by the eventual descent down the mountain (I agree that descending the mountain is the easier of the two, but with little ones it still begs for contemplation). We talked it over while intermittently looking up (way up!) at the beautiful Falls that seemed so close but so far away from us. In an instant, our daughter, Katie, picked up the backpack, began to walk ahead on the pathway, and yelled, "C'mon family, we can do this! Let's GO!" I will never forget that moment for as long as I live! It was all we needed to get past the barrier of thoughts that might have thwarted our efforts to reach our goal. At the mountain's top, we were afforded a place to rest, in the warmth of the sunshine, near a small body of water that flowed out into the massively impressive Vernal Fall that we had kept our eyes fixated on throughout the journey, beginning with the very first step!

The entire journey for us was a life lesson, and a true pathway toward my professional 'here and now.' We began by defining where we wanted to go and how we were going to get there. Once we committed ourselves to working toward our goal, we remained focused our vision of reaching the top and truly kept our mind's eye on the ultimate destination, Vernal Falls. When we felt frustrated, tired and somewhat defeated, we paused for breath and clarity which helped us to examine our circumstance in the moment and consider what was or was not working for us. It became important that I commit to working with my injury instead of against it so that I did not cause unwanted pain. We contemplated whether it was time to change course or forge ahead. We enlisted the help of each other to solve the dilemma that affected all of us; for us, it was important to decide as a family how to proceed at that point in our excursion. Katie was our "coach" and she offered the nudge we needed to recommit and not give up on our goal. When we finally did make it to the top, we processed the experience as a family by sitting by the small lake and relished the impressiveness of our physical stamina and the beauty of Yosemite! As we began our descent, Katie professed her "love" for our family and what we had accomplished! PRICELESS!

I vividly recall my profound joy that resulted from our family experience. It is much like the profound joy and contentment I continue to experience daily in my life's work! I am so fortunate to have the honor of helping clients set goals, define pathways for reaching those goals, recognize their skills that beg for acknowledgment and/or refinement, identify and remove barriers that might prevent or inhibit growth, and the privilege to walk alongside as life-altering change unfolds! I couldn't ask for more...

Until tomorrow...

Take good care~

Lucy

"Out of the Mouths of Darling Babes"

2008-02-01T14:55:00.000-08:00

It's always a pleasure to listen to little ones and their interpretations. It was 'my' pleasure to hear how two wonderful souls, Eli and Taylor, interpreted my role as a "life coach." As I continue to discuss my business and stretch far and wide into the community, I have heard many times, "What exactly is a life coach?" Perhaps Eli and Taylor can help me better explain my life's work! Here is an excerpt from a conversation that my best friend had with her two darling children about the meaning of a "life coach." Melissa wrote:

"When I asked Taylor what she thought a "life coach" does, she responded, "She looks over people when they are stuck in the water!" Prompted a little further, she added, "She would rescue them and help fix their feelings when they get hurt." When I asked if someone came to Aunt Lucy :) because their feelings were hurt and what she could do to help them, Taylor said, "She would tell them to be more safe and more steady with your mind and be more slow and good with your body!" (how insightful, by the way, for a child that just turned six years old to even think to say, "Steady your mind..." Wow!).

Then I asked Eli what Aunt Lucy would say to someone who came to see you because they were sad or they needed to talk about something that has them feeling sad, and he said, "Be nice and love!" Prompted further, he said, "She should tell them to read books...read books to everyone!"(more great insight...reading can be so helpful in this process!). Taylor wanted to talk more about it and so I asked, "If someone came to Aunt Lucy and said, "I really need help in making my life happier, what do you think she would say to them?" Taylor's response was, "Follow your dreams and you will get your wish!"

I think it may be said, "Out of the mouths of babes come the most amazing perspectives on life!" Thank you, Eli and Taylor for understanding at such a young age that my life's work, my passion, is much more than just work. It's so much more...

and...thanks to Melissa, Eli and Taylor for allowing me to share your precious thoughts and your conversation with my readers! I think we all 'get it' now :)

Until tomorrow...

Take good care~

Lucy

Bridges of Madison (or any other county)

2008-01-31T07:20:00.000-08:00

This winter it seems that the landscapes of the east coast (where I grew up) and even the midwest, with particular mention of Madison, Wisconsin where I lived for three years, have had their fair share of snow and cold temperatures. My sister and her husband in Maryland reported that they hadn't EVER seen that amount of snow in the their town in western Maryland! I think they attended a mere FOUR DAYS of school for the entire month of February! :)))

A dear friend recently mentioned the snow in that area and its effect on bridges during this time of year. That effect is something I recall well because it often brought on a 'white knuckle syndrome' as I call it. I would drive from Madison to Whitewater daily last year and when the weather was fierce, so, too, was my clutch on the steering wheel--especially on the bridges! The signs "slippery when wet" and "bridges ice over before roads," or something similar to that, only added to my fears. I think the reason that I vaguely recall the words on that particular sign is because I usually filled up with fear whenever I saw it during the winter! Anyway, this discussion of bridges reminded me of an experience that took place in my early days as a counselor when a client had a profound breakthrough regarding a circumstance, which prompted successful weaving of this analogy into my work with other clients.

Several sessions into counseling my very first client, an idea for working together just popped into my head and I ran with it "in the moment." We began to discuss a 'mind's eye vision' of a bridge, any bridge, and where that client was positioned on that particular bridge. The response offered to me indicated less than halfway across. The client was able to explain, without prompting and in fairly great detail, the structure, the weather, the ability to look forward or not, fear of falling off the bridge, and what construction might be taking place to reinforce the structure of the bridge. It was a very profound moment because the client was able to infuse a current circumstance into the analogy of the bridge and understand the personal experience from a very different perspective.

We have the ability to use our 'mind's eye vision' to explore our current circumstance on our bridge. What does that vision represent to you with regard to what is happening in your life and how you are reacting to that circumstance? Are you able to look ahead to the other side of the bridge (the other side of this circumstance?). Are there construction cones (those bright orange ones!) that beg for realignment of your steps and your efforts to get across this bridge? Where are you on this bridge? Is it an easy journey or is it difficult to consider moving another step, let alone get to the other side? What is the weather like (i.e., what is your physical and emotional response to this current circumstance like)--pleasant and sunny, or foggy, rainy, snowy, even icy? Sometimes pondering our circumstances from a different perspective can help us on some level to gain clarity and/or purpose. Ask yourself, "Is my intention to get to the other side of this bridge?" Ask yourself, "What IS my intention with this current circumstance- what does this represent for ME?" "What is helpful for ME about being on this bridge?" Should I go further, or is a detour necessary, and how will I feel if I make that detour?"

It takes an ounce of time to think it through, and, yet, our days become so busy and auto pilot takes control of "our steering wheel." The next time, however, you do cross a bridge, whether it is in Madison, WI, or any other part of the country, you might make a 'connection' with this blog entry and start pondering positive thoughts about where you are on your bridge and what that means for you in your "here and now" moment.

After that first client's experience, I hung a picture of the Golden Gate Bridge in my office. I found it inspired in me a confidence because I had helped a client make a very important breakthrough. To this day, I often look at the picture and recall that feeling of personal achievement as a young counselor. More importantly, though, I continue to visualize myself on that bridge and process what the pathway and the journey means to me in that moment. If your pathways happen to lead you to a bridge today, my hope for you is that it is an enlightening excursion from one side to the other!

Until tomorrow~
Lucy

Changing Course

2008-01-30T08:33:00.001-08:00

As a life coach, my work involves looking at the 'here and now' and deciding what needs to 'change' in order to achieve the clients' ultimate goals. Those 'pathways' often change course, and that is my experience, my 'here and now,' with my blog development. I was listening to a teleseminar (and I will be adding teleseminars to my practice at a future date, btw--another 'goal' of mine), and the host mentioned this site, "blogspot," which, of course, peaked my interest! I visited blogspot.com and I was impressed with the options for presenting thoughts, topics of interest, links, and even page layouts.

I pondered the thought, "I guess I shouldn't change course so quickly after establishing my other blog," which then prompted really positive internal dialogue that I want to share with you.

I first noticed that I uttered the word "shouldn't"..."I shouldn't???"...oh my....

Okay, if I begin to think in such absolute terms, (I 'should do this or I shouldn't do that), I believe that I become vulnerable to irrational thinking. That thought, "I shouldn't" establish a new blog site, was grounded in fear that it would confuse people...My feared responses were, "She's here one day, and the next she's over there! What's she doing?"

I began to break it down...

1."I want to set up this new blog because it 'feels good for me, it feels right.'
2. I feel that I will have a more polished presentation of my thoughts, and that this new blog will help me to reach out more 'globally' if you will :)
3. I will be able to place a blog address that actually isn't confusing for myself or the readers!
...It can be pointed out that www.pathwayslifecoach.blogspot.com is easier to remember than the other address full of squiggly letters and random numbers!!
4. There are new challenges to using this new blog'spot' and that is great learning for me!
5. Why would people be unable to find me? I can let them know in the same way I contacted everyone about my first blog! It's really that simple.
6. What if I confuse people? It will not be the end of the world, or the end of my ability to confuse people. Okay, so it happens and I will consider this part of the learning curve of life!
7. It will take me a while to figure out how to connect this to "www.pathwaystotallifecoaching.com" YET, I can make that change in due time and tell everyone about it when it happens!
The only potential struggle I might have with changing courses that I can truly think of is:
1. Time management associated with learning this new site. Yet, as I learn and become more efficient with time management, my work becomes more efficient as a result!

2. That's about it......no number two entry, and I've already reasoned through my number one 'struggle'...so, I am officially crossing that off my list!

If I had chosen not to 'change course' I would have allowed my assumptions take the reigns on this one, and I would probably have felt regret along the pathway. We all know that feeling of regret, and it's not a positive emotion! I think that if I had immediately bought into what 'was' my irrational belief (I 'shouldn't'...) and not thought further about uttering "I shouldn't", then I would not be in this positive thinking mode. Those two little words, 'should not,' do not shout "Positivity!" to when I look at them, speak them, or hear them!

So, I believe I have thought this through rationally, and this is the NEW BLOG that I am in the process of developing! If I change course at some future date, I do believe that this mode of thinking and breaking it all down will serve me well in my deliberations. The next time you are thinking of changing course, and these words "I shouldn't" or "should I" are cited as part of your deliberations, perhaps you will recall this new blog entry and begin breaking it down for yourself from a more positive perspective! Perhaps looking more closely at any of our irrational beliefs (I 'should', I 'must,' I 'can't' etc...) and the emotions that result from those beliefs, as well as considering possible outcomes as a result of those beliefs and emotions, might serve us well in this journey called life!

So, this was my mental workout for the morning! I can only wonder what's in store for me as the rest of the day unfolds. I my hope for you is that you have a 'positively thought-filled' day!

Take good care until tomorrow! :)))
Lucy